Grand Theft Auto - Nasty as You Want to Be

My cousin wanted me to play a PS 2 game when we were gathered for a family funeral. I’m a good sport, so I pushed myself away from the food table and rambled back to do the game thing which happened to be Grand Theft Auto 3. I didn’t know what we were playing, but I’m just not a game player.

It’s not all that easy to figure out the buttons on Grand Theft Auto 3 – for me anyway. I drove a car and hit the walls and trees mostly. So, my cousin got behind the wheel (per video game player controller). And, it was off to the races as we say in the South.

There’s this big city, and you drive a car. But, that’s just the general theme.

You run your car over old people who get in the way. You bash into police cars and fire engines. Mostly you keep going although your doors may get busted off and the hood crunched.

Not to worry. There is a body shop (chop shop I’d say) where you get the car fixed up fast and usually with a different color and probably a new serial number though I can’t guarantee that.

This is all the pickpocket level of Grand Theft Auto as best I can tell. If you keep playing, you can get guns and shoot people like the policemen. Bang. Bang. Another dead body on the street.

There are some females in this game. Our driver got in a fight with one of the women. This was kind of a martial arts kind of fight. Hit. Kick. Fall down. Get up. More hitting and kicking.

I said, “Who’s that lady?’

My cousin says, “That’s a bad lady.”

My aunt whispers that it’s a hooker. Duh me. OK. We’re beating up a hooker. We can do other stuff with her if we know how. One of us doesn’t. The other one – not sure. We kept that all on the streets and not in the back seat if you get my drift.

The graphics (which seem to totally interest all gamers) were good. It was 3D in cartoon form. The city, cars, vehicles, and people looked pretty realistic. You’d not mistake them for real people, but they were good with complicated movements and even expressions.

The sound was better than many games I’ve seen and heard here and elsewhere – if you like a racket. There are sirens and crash sounds and music and gangsta wannabe voices. I could follow it all.

This game is all about being “bad.” You can just drive around and run over people or can advance by doing crimes. Then you earn bigger and better guns and more power and even car time with the hookers.

My cousin loves this game. Did I mention that he’s three years old? Anyway, he enjoys the heck out of running over people, crashing, seeing the fire truck go up in flames, getting the car fixed up, and fighting in the streets.

This game is rated M – that’s mature. It’s not intended for kids. It doesn’t do it for me either. If I want to see mayhem, then I go visit the relatives. I don’t need a game for all that.

My boys (the older one anyway) is old enough to buy this one. That’s fine. I don’t censor. I raised mine to make their own decisions (though go by the age guidelines or close). They’ve played Grand Theft Auto. I asked. They’re rather play the sports games. They don’t get cranked up about running over old people, shooting cops, and game playing sex in cars. If I’d put this on the big old “no-no” list, they might think it was a big deal and want to play naughty. They came, they saw, they moved on. I gave Grand Theft Auto a look and rolled my eyes. Where’s the fun? If I wanted to be a big bad criminal, I’d do it and not game it. I keep it between the navigational beacons in real life and in game life.

If it turns you on, then buy it (if you’re in the M age range). You get a lot of action and all kinds of levels to get down and dirty and then dirtier. No skin off my nose. I’m not the game police, but I would suggest that parents check this game out before giving it to a little one. Grand Theft Auto is pretty nasty no matter how you cut it. That’s why it’s M rated. If you’re mature, give it a whirl. If you are mature, I think you’ll find your time could be better spent – but different strokes for different folks.